Glowing in pregnancy?  That wasn’t the case for me!!

I always hear people saying how they enjoyed their pregnancy, that they love being pregnant. And I am like, really??

I knew I was pregnant before even purchasing a clear blue test was a question!! I was rather lost in my hormones.Felling tearful and really confused. Simple tasks were getting complicated and leaving me frustrated. Once the test has confirmed it, things processeed quite fast. By six weeks into my pregnancy , I was feeling really unwell.  Soon after it was confirmed I was suffering from Hyperemesis. HG which stands for Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a life threatening condition for the expecting mother and the baby. Severe dehydration is one of the dangers.  It is caused by very high pregnancy hormones in the body. And still unknown why some people are prone to get it but there are researchers trying to tackle it. However it is still really under searched condition.

Some might call it extreme morning sickness but you should never say to a HG sufferer, unless you want to risk your life. It is beyond morning sickness !! Feeling nauses 24/7. And that rock hard feeling in on your stomach!! Starvation!! On top you can not even sleep because you are hungry!! It was a circle I couldn’t break!  I was suffering really badly. At the time ( 13 years ago) HG was not that known, and people did not understand me. Some perhaps though I was over reacting. I felt isolated. Often HG sufferers find themselves feeling alone. Unless you have experienced it, it is very difficult to understand the real extend of it. It is as bad as mentally as the physical suffering.

Many people , which I know truly trying to be helpful, will give suggestions. This is not a good idea. By this point HG sufferer had already been tried many medical or non medical treatments. And definitely DO NOT mention ginger!! Never, ever!! That is a reason to get kicked!! Only if she has the energy!! I have tried tablets, sickness wrist bands, acupuncture, hypnoteraphy and yes, I have tried ginger. All forms of ginger!!! I have tried anything and everything out there that mentioned! But nothing helped. I was sick 30 times or more each day. Remember NO GINGER! This is not a morning sickness!!! It is a life threatening condition! it is HG!

Do you know what had given me a relieve for fraction of a second. Holding the shower head on my face!! As long as possible!! Moment of a relief… Yes if I could get the energy to walk to the bathroom thats where I would be spending an hour or so! Sitting in a bath tub! Crying and begging for it to end!

I remember crying and worrying that it was never going to end! It felt like a permanent damage!! ( In a way mentally it was a permanent damage for me, I still get really panicky when I get nauseas.)

I remember fearing for my baby! After all how could a baby grown healthy if I had no nutritions going through my body!! I had not had a sip of water or single bite of any food weeks at time! As much as doctors tried to put my mind at ease telling me my baby was using all my reserves and leaving me to starve, and that meant my baby would be ok.  And Folic Acid, No forget it!

Regular visits to hospital was the only outing I had. (Apart from bathroom visit from my bed!) My arms were feeling sore from needles. But that was the only way to get hydrated and it was essential for my and my unborn baby’s health.

Looking far from glowing, like how pregnancy supposed to make you look, I was looking dull,malnourished, slimmer than before!

And I have to confess I did not brush my teeth for 3 months! Nothing could get closed to my mouth!! Let along tooth brush!!

But it ended ( six months after) Eventually….

Does it worth it? Hell yeah!

Having my tiny angel in my arm, smelling his skin ( how come babies always smell so delicious?) , his tiny hands holding on to my fingers… Yes it’s definitely worth it! Each breath he took.  Each smile…

And to my surprise I was brave enough to do it twice! I wasn’t expecting to be sick it second time round, but I was wrong. And I had to go through it all over agin. and the hardest part for the second time was not being able to cuddle or kiss my firstborn! Yes I could not get close to my own child as it would make me very unwell and sick immediately. So mental effects of the condition was even higher this time around.

I admire all HG sufferers. Each one of us are warriors !! HG survivors. I would like to thank all the charities support researches on HG and everyone who supports by donating , fundraising.

If you would like to get more information or donate please visit the link below.

Thank You